Road-trip vs. Africa. I think we know who wins.

It's amazing how productive I can be when I don't have to work at 3:30 a.m. Man, that shift just kills me. Today is my first day off in seven days and despite my itch to take more assignments from my editors, I am taking the day off.

Already, I have made a doctor's appointment to get my immunization shots, mapped out a healthy meal plan for this week, cleaned the house and grocery shopped, visited the post office AND the bank! Annnnnnd I'm not even done! After this mid-afternoon rest-break, I plan to get my camera fixed, pump some iron at the gym and garden. (hey, I love lists, ok?!)

Another reason why I'm so productive? No distractions, i.e. a sad and empty house. Three of my best friends left this morning for a week-long road-trip through the deep south. Can ya say "Yeeeee haw!"? Part of my heart stings with the disappointment of not being with them, bringing back painful memories of my high school friends going on a senior trip without me, without telling me, and without explanation.

Despite that emotional scar still with me, I know that this time it's different. My best friends now are the friends who really taught me what friendship is and have proven time and time again that they are worthy of my trust and my heart.

And on top of that, my reason for not going is pretty awesome, too... AFRICA!!!! One and a half months til I am on a plane to Malawi. One-way ticket? I wish. I'll be there for a couple weeks doing humanitarian-type work with my church in partnership with the organization Children of the Nations.

Color of the day? "Bittersweet." Huh. I promise I didn't plan that... it really is a Crayola color! The Bittersweet crayon is a vibrant coral color that matches my flowy floor-length skirt that I get to wear in Africa. I call it my "Africa skirt." Original, right?!

It's going to be amazing. I'm so excited. What comes after? Who knows. I have, like, ten million ideas, but I am doing my very best trying not to make plans. I'm leaving it in bigger hands.

Grace for the hippies

The second thing I am excited about this summer happened: my big brother made it home from Afghanistan, safe. The big ole bear hug he gave me has never felt so good.

I spent most of this week with my family who came down south to welcome Dave home, and next week I get to spend even more time with them (graduation weekend yeeeee whooo!). It's an interesting thing to spend time with the people who raised you, who taught you everything, and then to share mutual realization when your similarities begin to be limited to that place we all call home.

I think the easiest reaction to this is to walk away, say I've changed and you don't understand me. It's easy to say "Well, I'm just not that close with my family anymore." But the easy road is not always the right road. Instead, we learn to cherish the few things we still have in common, like those old dirt backroads and apple trees and elementary school memories. And when we hit those bumpy conversations, we remember that learning isn't just something we did as children, but that these conversations are daily lessons.

Lesson this week: grace and acceptance. Teacher: my uncle Greg. You see, in many ways, my outlook on life varies a great deal from those of my immediate family members, and that is often a point of contention that builds walls between our hearts. But when my uncle and I spoke, though our differences were clear as day, he took joy in that difference. We laughed and he poked fun at my "hippie" ways, but I felt loved and I felt the walls breaking down instead of being built.

And as I realized how much I had craved that acceptance, I also realized how much I had been disinclined to give it in return, specifically to my dad, my mom, my brother and my sister. I had been holding them to a standard of graceful attitudes that I was not even upholding.

So here is the color of the day, get ready for it. It is red, orange and yellow, green, blue, and violet. Yes, I'm choosing the rainbow today because our souls are all different colors, hues and shades. One might think that so many colors would clash when put together, but ya know what? It really is beautiful.